MADE FOR TELEVISION

Ultimate Darwinism?

madefortelevision — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 10:06:44 +0000

Usually, the recipients of the Darwin awards are those who have managed to kill themselves in a spectacular act of stupidity before they could reproduce. Now there is a new category, those who kill their children through spectacular stupidity and are sent to prison to prevent their further reproduction.

Dale Neumann, told a court in the state of Wisconsin he believed God could heal his daughter. She died of a treatable disease – undiagnosed diabetes – at home in rural Wisconsin in March last year, as people surrounded her and prayed. Neumann’s wife, Leilani Neumann, was convicted earlier this year. The couple, who were both convicted of second-degree reckless homicide, face up to 25 years in prison when they are sentenced in October.

The irony is that Neumann was right, God could have healed his daughter. God gave some men and women brains to learn how to do it. Unfortunately for his daughter, he neglected to do the same for the Neumann’s. All they had to do was to dial 911 to contact his special representatives in Wisconsin.

The U.S.A seems to be over represented in this category and, perhaps, President Obama should add education to the list of “things to fix in America”. I wish him luck.

19th Century Drama, 21st Century Solution

madefortelevision — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:12:11 +0000

Almost everything President Bush says is MADE FOR TELEVISION. No more so than in the current situation in Georgia. The answer to the problems of the Caucuses, as in the Balkans, is not diplomatic action but military action.

At the very beginning of the Serbian invasion of its neighbours, this commentator is on record as saying that the war would quickly be ended by bombing the bridges of Belgrade. It took NATO three years to take that simple action that stopped the war.

The parallel in Georgia is shouting at NATO but, as in the Balkans, they are deaf and blind to the obvious solution. That solution is military, not political. How do we know? Captured on television are the orders the Russian tank commanders have received, “We just drive and drive and drive” one tank driver said.

It has to be understood that these are not regular Russian forces. They are the ‘Special Forces’ (the privateers in 19^th century terminology) who suppressed the Chechnyan rebels. These are not crack Russian regiments whose honour has to protected. They are expendable in terms of Russian honour.

The United States has a considerable number of tanks in Germany that it could fly to Georgia in short notice. Flying tanks is a most important part of this military strategy because this strategy is MADE FOR TELEVISION. On television every night a few tanks roll out of transport planes at Tbilisi airport. At the same time, tens of tanks are filmed rolling through Germany to transport ships in Bremerhaven. Taking time is the key strategy.

When 15 tanks are assembled in Georgia they drive around the capital. They just drive and drive and drive. They drive to the closest town where the Russian tanks are and drive past them as if they did not exist. They drive through the countryside as if on reconnaissance. If the Russians do not withdraw, they drive up to them and start a conversation, exchange cigarettes, Bourbon for Vodka, but they sit there and do not leave.

Every day, more tanks land at Tbilisi and roll out and drive and drive and drive. Every day the transport ships are shown moving from Germany to the Black Sea. NATO warships sail through the Bosporus towards the coast of Georgia. As Owen Meany might say, “IT’S MADE FOR TELEVISION – THAT’S WHAT THAT IS.”

What happens? Nothing. As Sun Tzu might ask himself, what war is this? The answer is the Cuban missile crisis.

The American tanks drive around the Russian Tanks and the Russians tanks stay put or run out of fuel. The Americans give them fuel and so they may return to South Ossetia. In effect, the Americans have replaced the Russians as ‘Peace Keepers’. The Russian acknowledge this gracefully. When the Russian forces have returned to South Ossetia the diplomatic solution starts. The Russians do not repeat the exercise in the Ukraine. The world remains a happier place.

Don Pacifico Rides Again (a very 19th Century Story)

madefortelevision — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 13:00:35 +0000

The Russian invasion of Georgia is reminiscent of the incident in 1850, in which the British Government dispatched a squadron of the Royal Navy to blockade the port of Piraeus in retaliation for the harm done by the Greeks to a British subject, David Pacifico, and the subsequent failure of the Greek government to compensate Pacifico. Like the Russians in South Ossetia who are Russian passport holders, Pacifico was a British citizen born outside of Great Britain in the crown colony of Gibraltar.

The Russian’s claim that their invasion of South Ossetia is to protect Russian passport holders. MADE FOR TELEVISION!

Those who thought we had seen the end of Russian ’Tank Diplomacy’ with the fall of the Berlin Wall had counted without the 19th Century mentality of the current Russian Government. If a wall is there to be leaned on with relative ease, then the Russian Government will lean on it. It would be tempting to write this up as a Slavic thing or a return of the cold war thing, but that would be to ignore the role of the West in similar adventures.

Once more, Britain is back in the opium business, this time in Afghanistan. The 19th Century gunboat diplomacy is alive and well, albeit without the boats. Other than that human nature does not fundamentally change, what does our crystal ball tell us about the future? Well, if history does repeat itself in endless cycles, we can expect a major confrontation later this century or early in the next. One crumb of comfort may exist in the form of climate change that may force a more sane approach by nations being forced to co-operate in order to save themselves from destruction. Either way, we shall, as always, live in interesting times.